Tag Archives: scary mommy

Don’t Talk to The Today Show When You Have a Dog with Housebreaking Issues in the Room

A lot of people ask me how I’m always able to find the humor in situations that do not, at first glance, seem so humorous. My answer is that I can’t. Not right away, anyway. Sometimes it takes a little while and some distance to see how funny something is.

For instance yesterday I had a pre-interview on the phone with The Today Show producers for the segment I will be doing next week. But just as I got on the conference call, the dog walked into the kitchen, squatted, and started to pee all over the floor.

11187_10152638076125354_2123667984_n copyNo, not pee. Flood. For like five straight minutes. It was like the Niagara Falls of dog pee. I’ve never seen anything like it except from a horse once.

I immediately jumped up to grab some paper towels to throw on the tsunami, and in doing so, somehow managed to toss the phone across the room.

No, not toss. Hurl. Like I was an olympic cell phone shot putter. It slammed to the floor and When I picked it up, there was no one there.

Yes, I hung up on The Today Show.

Funny when it happened? Not so much. Funny now? Absolutely. Especially since they did in fact answer when I called them back and we were able to start over… this time with the dog outside and the phone duct taped to my ear.

The moral of the story is always walk your dog before you talk to The Today Show. And keep a bucket on hand in case you forget.

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On the set of "Live from the Couch"

On the set of “Live from the Couch”

Meanwhile back in book land, I had another TV appearance which was far less eventful and a lot of fun. I was “Live From the Couch” on WLNY TV55 and I had a great time talking with John Elliot and his two very pregnant co-hosts Caroline Bermudez and Lisa Kerney. You can check out the segment HERE!

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The Blog Tour

Thanks again to my amazing blog friends who keep showing my book the love on their sites! Today, Una LaMarche wrote something on her site, The Sassy Curmudgeon, that had me in the same space as Weird Al Yankovic. This would be the first time I have ever been mentioned in the same breath as Weird Al and I have to admit, I’m kinda flattered. Intrigued? You can read her post HERE.

There is also a great review of “Lost in Suburbia: A Momoir” in the Metro chain of papers. You can read that review HERE.

Finally, if you didn’t get a chance to see my latest newspaper column where I announce the birth of my book baby, you can read it by CLICKING HERE

POPLogo_2011UpdateREMINDER: I will be doing a webinar for the group Mothers & More today at 1pm Eastern. It’s called, “Laughing Your Way Through Motherhood.” There is still time to register if you’d like to attend! We will be talking about all things Moms, humor, life in the ‘burbs, Losing your identity, and more!!
To sign up CLICK HERE!

And don’t forget to come join me in Ridgewood, NJ tomorrow night where I will signing copies of my new book along with Jill Smokler (AKA Scary Mommy) at Bookends, 211 E Ridgewood Ave, Ridgewood at 7pm!
Hope to see you then!




Filed under Lost in Suburbia Book Tour

Confessions of a Fan of “Confessions of a Scary Mommy”

I usually spend my blog space talking about my issues with household appliances, my moody teens, and my hapless husband. Occasionally I will also indulge in some shameless self-promotion for my book or a TV appearance or speaking engagement. However, since I have not blown up any toaster ovens of late and I have no appearances scheduled and my book does not come out for another year, I thought I would take a moment to extol the virtues of a new book coming out by my friend Jill Smokler, known to many in the blogosphere as Scary Mommy.

Jill’s book, “Confessions of a Scary Mommy” is really pretty hilarious and I know this because I read it and found myself wishing I had written it. If I consider actually bumping someone off because they are funnier than I am then I know their writing is REALLY, REALLY good. I also found myself incredibly relieved that Jill’s book came out a year before mine so I do not have to go head-to-head with her over Mother’s Day when all the kids go to the bookstore and look at the table with the “Recommended for Mom” books on it and they pick hers over mine.

Thank you for that, Jill.

The thing that I really like about Jill’s book, like her blog, is that she doesn’t sugarcoat all those miserable, poopy, sleepless, messy moments of raising kids, but instead, calls ‘em out, and in doing so, gives all the rest of us permission to admit that sometimes being a mom is just a big pain in the patootie. This is not to say that motherhood is without it’s rewards. Jill will be the first to admit it is the best job she’s ever had. But she will also be the first to admit that it is not always a bed of roses. By laying bare the challenges of child-rearing with a big serving of humor on the side, she portrays the experience of parenting in a way that is eminently relatable and comforting to those of us who are often afraid to admit how tough it is.
Jill writes:

“My firstborn child was – how do I say this eloquently? – a very pleasant surprise! No, that’s not true. She was a complete and utter shock. A hysteria-inducing, this-cannot-be-happening-to-me, why-did-I-not-triple-up-on-the-birth-control shock that rocked my selfish, skinny life to the very core. Just so we’re clear.”

Although my kids were actually planned (we launched our efforts in a sleepy, seaport town at a charming little B&B called “The Seamen’s Inn. Yes, that was on purpose), I can still relate to Jill’s shock at actually seeing the double line on the pregnancy test. This was followed by the nine months of less than idealic pregnancy Jill describes in her book, and the early days of post-pregnancy when you feel like you will never change out of your bathrobe, take a shower, or leave the house without a child strapped to your body again.

The fact that so many of us do this a second, third or more time, is a testament to the endurance of the human race or the likelihood that labor and childbirth kills the brain cells responsible for rational thinking.

The book also includes hilarious and achingly true confessions from lots of other mommies, and a Scary Mommy Manifesto. Repeat after me: “I shall not judge the mother in the grocery store who, upon entering, hits the candy aisle and doles out M&M’s to her screaming toddler.” We’ve all done it, you know we have.

As I read the book and snorted with recognition, I silently thanked Jill for reminding me that although it is a tough job, having kids is a gift, and the hemorrhoids you get from having them, is the gift that keeps on giving.

*”Confessions of a Scary Mommy hits the shelves on April 3 but you can pre-order it now. For more details, click here.


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