Tag Archives: Christmas

We Pause this Christmas Planning for a Commercial Interruption

’Twas a week before Christmas and our wallets were bare

There wasn’t so much as a dollar in there.

The gift cards were purchased, the stockings were stuffed

Even the eggnog tureen had been buffed.

 

The bonus was gone, the tips had been tipped

The gift to Aunt Martha had finally been shipped.

The lines at the mall were still crazy long

Price surging on ride shares was still going strong

 

The kids were safe studying in their college beds

as visions of Venmo checks danced in their heads.

Some gathered together to watch Game of Thrones

While others schemed how to get cool new IPhones.

 

But back at our house as we tried to get cozy

A loud noise suggested that all was not rosy.

Someone was walking on top of the house

And that someone was bigger for sure than a mouse.

 

A burglar? An alien? What could it be?

Something was headed straight for our chimney.

 

And then with an “oomf” and an “ugh” he came down,

Not through the chimney but down to the ground.

With big rosy cheeks and good cheer galore

Our mystery roof-walker appeared at the door.

 

“I’m the guy that you called, I’m a roofer named Kringle

All that snow that just fell?  It ruined your shingles.

“You need a new roof,” said the man dressed in red

“If you don’t do it soon it’ll fall in on your head.”

 

We looked at the tuition bills tossed on the table

The bills for electricity, water, and cable

Then we gave him a Visa to clean up the mess

Because Kringle won’t take American Express.

 

©2017, Beckerman. All rights reserved.

bookbutton-04“Lost in Suburbia: A Momoir. How I Got Pregnant. Lost Myself, and Got My Cool Back in the New Jersey Suburbs” makes a great gift for the Holidays!! To get a copy for you or a cool mom you love, CLICK HERE

To become a fan of Lost in Suburbia on Facebook, Visit me here
To follow me on Twitter, visit me here

 

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Filed under Da Holidays

‘Tis the Season to be Lost in Suburbia!

Lost in Suburbia holiday giveaway

Now that Thanksgivukkah is behind us, it’s time to focus on ChristmaKwanzaToysRusaka.  What does that mean?  Heck do I know. I just like making stuff up.

But it is definitely the time of year to be nice and give people things.  I gave lots of people things this week. I gave the dentist part of my tooth. I gave American Express a big chunk of my paycheck. And I gave a judge a piece of mind.  What was left of it, anyway.

Still, I feel like I want to give more. For that reason I am GIVING AWAY A SIGNED COPY OF MY NEW BOOK, “LOST IN SUBURBIA: A MOMOIR” AND MY OTHER BOOK, “REBEL WITHOUT A MINIVAN,” to one lucky winner.  Plus, I will give a second signed copy of both books as a GIFT TO THE RECIPIENT OF YOU CHOICE!

Xmas book bundle2

So what do you have to do to win?

In my book, “Lost in Suburbia: A Momoir,” I mention how I knew I was lost in suburbia the day I got stopped by a cop while I was driving my kids to school in my bathrobe. Now it’s your turn.  Show me YOUR bathrobe! Yes, your bathrobe… you know, the one you wear when you drive your kids to school in the morning because you have no energy to put on real clothes. Us bathrobe-driving mamas have to stick together and I want to celebrate you, and your bathrobe, for all you to do in the name of motherhood.

Leave a comment in the section below and include a link to a bathrobe pic on flickr, Instagram, or anywhere else your picture lives on the web, OR, email me your pic to
Tracy (at) Lostinsuburbia (dot) com.
I’ll pick a winner at random and post your picture on my blog on Monday, December 16th,
National Drive Your Kid to School in Your Bathrobe Day.*

Thanks so much for being a part of the fun!!  And by the way, here’s mine:

Don't you think the pearls are a nice touch?

Don’t you think the pearls are a nice touch?

PS.  Don’t sweat it if you don’t win. From now until Dec 24th, you can buy “Lost in Suburbia: A Momoir” and “Rebel without a Minivan” together on Amazon and save 15%.  To get your copies, CLICK HERE!

PPS. If you would like a signed bookplate for your copy or gift copy of “Lost in Suburbia,” email me before Dec, 14th at Tracy (at) Lostinsuburbia (dot) com with your address and the name of the person who is receiving the bookplate, and I would be happy to send one to you free of charge!

*I made that day up.  I told you I like to make stuff up.  But I think we should start a petition to have a National Drive Your Kids to School in Your Bathrobe Day, don’t you?

©2013, Beckerman. All rights reserved.
To become a fan of Lost in Suburbia on Facebook, Visit me here
To follow me on Twitter, visit me here

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Filed under Lost in Suburbia Stories, Uncategorized