I Shop Therefore I am

Playing Chicken with My Dinner

“What do you want for dinner?” I asked my husband. “How about fish.” he replied. I shook my head. “I had fish for lunch. How about steak?” “I’m sick of steak,” he said. “How about chicken?” I nodded. “Chicken it is.” My husband went outside to light the grill while I jumped in the car to go get the food.…

All Lined Up and Nowhere to Go

All Lined Up and Nowhere to Go

It was one of those days where everything was taking a ridiculously long time. There was a line at the drycleaners. A line at the supermarket. A line at the gas station. I was starting to think that everyone in the world had the same to-do list that I did; they were just one to-do ahead of me the whole…

How Shopping for Toothpaste can Melt Your Brain

How Shopping for Toothpaste can Melt Your Brain

Recently I had to go to the drugstore to buy a tube of toothpaste. It took me an hour and a half and I almost had a nervous breakdown. In all honesty, I absolutely believe that there are people in psychiatric hospitals right now who are there as a direct result of shopping for toothpaste. In fact, in the top…

Getting My CAbi On

Getting My CAbi On

I have to admit it, the first time a friend invited me to a CAbi party, I thought we were going to be getting drunk and riding around in yellow taxis. Having just moved to the suburbs from the city, I had no idea that CAbi was actually a fabulous clothing line sold out of women’s homes, much like our…

When Good Moms Wear Bad Clothes

When Good Moms Wear Bad Clothes

Whenever I go shopping, I’m usually pretty good about knowing which stores are age-appropriate and which are too young or too old for me. Typically, if the dresses in a store have less material than my underwear, I know my daughter should be shopping there, not me. And if a store sells clothes that could double as window curtains, both…

I Shop, Therefore I Spend

I Shop, Therefore I Spend

I love to shop. I am a world-class shopper. If there were an Olympic event for shopping, I would be like the Michael Phelps of the mall. I can sprint shop, endurance shop, and marathon shop. In the shopping decathlon, I reign supreme. I actually come from a long line of great shoppers on both sides of my family, going…