The Great and Powerful Snow Oz

dangerFor two days, the weather forecasters warned us that Snowmageddon was about to descend upon us.

Hide your wife, hide your kids and batten down the hatches. We could expect 2, no 3 feet of snow before it was all said and done. Governor Christie called a State of Emergency, shut down New Jersey transit, and cancelled all pizza delivery. Mayor DeBlassio closed New York City at 11pm (except for the bars, of course). And moms all over the NY tristate area descended upon the supermarkets in a blizzard induced maternal frenzy and cleared the shelves of milk, bread, water, and boxed wine in anticipation of a week or more of possible loss of power, flooding, and worse yet, school closings. The kids, of course, were overjoyed. The dads were contemplating how much chiropractic care they would need after shoveling a path for the dog to go out to pee.

And the moms were wondering if it would be safe to drive in two feet of snow so they could dump their kids at someone else’s house for a playdate.

We watched The Day After Tomorrow on Netflix to mentally prepare for the end of time. Then we said our prayers, went to bed, and when we woke up, there was…
nothing.

The Blizzard of 2015 fizzled.

The Snowstorm was a No-storm.

The whiteout was a washout.

“Oops,” said the meteorologists.

“Nevermind,” said Mayor DeBlassio

“How’bout them George Washington Bridge lane closings,” said Gov. Christie.

In all fairness, there there were a few inches. But nothing like the weather forecasters had predicted.

They said a foot… we got five inches.
They must all be men.

©2015, Beckerman. All rights reserved.

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6 Comments

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6 responses to “The Great and Powerful Snow Oz

  1. imnotasupermom

    I bet some people in Manhattan feel really bad about what they did to get quinoa yesterday.

  2. Harvey Baron

    Sock it to dem fear mongers Tra!!!

    Sent from my iPad

    On Jan 27, 2015, at 8:44 AM, Lost in Suburbia wrote:

    WordPress.com lostinsuburbiablog posted: “For two days, the weather forecasters warned us that Snowmageddon was about to descend upon us. Hide your wife, hide your kids and batten down the hatches. We could expect 2, no 3 feet of snow before it was all said and done. Governor Christie called a S”

  3. michael

    pitch perfect

  4. So funny. Glad you wrote because I was concerned about my friends to the north. Our tv weather people kept interrupting programs last night to warn us of the impending blizzard. In my neighborhood, we received about 2.” Most of that is gone now. sd

    • Well in NYC and NJ, we didn’t get much, but they still got slammed on the eastern end of Long Island (about 2 feet) and Boston got exactly what they predicted. We just dodged the bullet down here. Still, the kids got the day off from school so they’re not complaining!!