Moons Over Manhattan

source: sc cunningham

source: sc cunningham

“Hey, look at that,” said my husband staring out the window. “There are people doing yoga on the roof of that building.”

We were on the 20th floor of a building in New York City, having a romantic dinner at a chic restaurant known for it’s great food and beautiful views.

“What are they doing?” he wondered aloud. “Oh. Oh no!”

“What? What is it?” I asked, straining to see.

“Um. I think they’re taking off their clothes.”

I jumped up from my banquette and ran to the wall of windows. There, in plain sight on the roof of the next building several floors below us, were sixteen people on yoga mats, doing downward dogs in their birthday suits.

“Ewww. Naked people doing yoga,” I squealed.

“Not just naked people: Ugly naked people,” clarified our waiter.

It was indeed a spectacle. But apparently I, the suburbanite, was the only one surprised by the events out the window.

All around me diners kept dining, drinkers kept drinking, and no one seemed to notice or care that right outside was an x-rated display of group exercise.

Honestly, I didn’t know which was more shocking; the people doing naked yoga outside, or the people not paying any attention inside.   Unfortunately, I was paying attention and I was having a hard time focusing on my lovely goat cheese and frisee salad and the lovely company of my lovely husband, while sixteen not-so-lovely-looking people Saluted the Sun with a full moon.

Obviously, it wasn’t the yoga part of this display that was troubling me. My husband does yoga and my sister-in-law teaches yoga, so although I, myself am not a yoga-phile, I have had some firsthand experience with people doing yoga. I am also not unfamiliar with themed yoga. I’ve read about such yoga options as Yoga for Couples, Yoga for Babies, and even something called Doga, for people who want to do their downward dogs with their Labradoodles. There are the food-yoga classes, such as Yoga with Chocolate, and Yoga with Wine, as well as the popular, Yoga with Pizza. There are classes that combine yoga with gymnastics, yoga with aerobics, and even yoga with belly dancing.   There are probably yoga classes for people who love “Star Wars” (Yoga with Yoda), and people who like their yoga with fruit on the bottom (Yoga with Yogurt). There are so many variations on the yoga theme that I’m sure if I were to search the Internet, I would certainly find Naked Yoga and maybe, even, Naked Yoga with Dogs. However, just because you can do it, doesn’t mean you should, especially on a rooftop in New York City and certainly not within view of someone who wants to keep her appetite intact.

Knowing this was a pricey dinner, I tried to keep my eyes on my plate and enjoy the rest of the meal. But ultimately, we decided to skip dessert and go for coffee someplace else, preferably on a lower floor. Then, as we were on our way out, we ran into a friend who was on his way in.

“Are you having dinner here?” asked my husband.

“Yes,” said the friend. “We heard the food is great and the view is terrific.”

“True,” I replied. “But you might not want to do both at the same time.”


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19 responses to “Moons Over Manhattan

  1. Too much, seriously. I just couldn’t possibly, uh, let it all hang out like that. 😉

    Have you seen the whole naked bike ride craze? I totally thought you had stumbled across that this weekend or something. But while eating dinner? uh-uh.

    Thanks for the giggle. Miss you!! xo

  2. susanintheboonies

    That would put me off *my* feed, personally.
    I think the guy who does advertising for the restaurant needs to mention “Dinner AND a Show”.
    I’ll take Manhattan…with a side of clothing.

  3. Oh good grief. I would be totally grossed out! Very funny!

  4. imnotasupermom

    I would do yoga with Yoda.
    I would not do naked yoga. What would muffle my yoga toots?

  5. Not sure I wouldn’t be distracted as well!

    • See now, of all people I thought YOU would be more understanding of this! 🙂 However, there was nothing sexy about it. It’s like the time I went to jamaica and we shared a beach with a clothing-optional resort. Problem was, it was wholly populated by octogenarians. That was the first time I realized that gravity affects men as well as women… in all places.

  6. I just can’t believe that anybody would want to do naked yoga. Even if they are comfortable being naked, could you imagine each of them seeing each other up close in those positions, I hope I can get rid of this mental image in my head.

  7. Harvey Baron

    Having worked in Manhattan for decades that’s no surprise. But I love the way you wrote it. XO Pops

    Sent from my iPad

  8. Naked yoga. Just. No.

  9. I don’t want to see anyone’s Downward Dog and I know they don’t want to see mine. As you said about Jamaica. Gravity ain’t pretty.
    Great job on the story.

  10. Words can’t say what I’m thinking right now. Good job. Left a comment. sd

  11. Too funny Tracy! Where was that restaurant again? I was taking a naked yoga class that way recently 😉