Forget the Fox… What Does the Groundhog Say?

groundhog bite mePhil and The General are messing with me.

Punxatawny Phil says we are going to have six more weeks of winter.  But General Beauregard Lee of Georgia predicts an early spring.

Which groundhog to believe?

Although the Phil followers say he has a flawless track record, the truth is, it’s always winter somewhere so he kind of can’t be wrong.  Besides, with the winter we’ve been having, I think even the Easter Bunny could have predicted six more weeks of winter.

The General is a little more humble and has only professed to getting it right 80% of the time, which may explain why he is considered the lesser groundhog of the two.

Meanwhile, today we are getting another 4-8 inches of the white stuff dumped on us, followed by a second storm Wednesday and another coming this weekend, so at this point, I’m kind of inclined to believe Phil… or shoot myself. Either one seems like a good option.

canadian groundhogUp in Canada, Nova Scotia’s Shubenacadie Sam and Alberta’s Balzac Billy both predicted an early spring, but Ontario’s Wiarton Willie did not.  However, Canadians have such horrible winters, it’s possible they wouldn’t know an early spring from a long winter anyway, so I’m not sure I should put any faith in the prophetic powers of their groundhogs. Besides, they say the word “about” funny (the Canadians… not the groundhogs).

Still, Birmingham Bill of Alabama, Sir Walter Wally of North Carolina, Dunkirk Dave of Dunkirk, NY, Wynter the Groundhog of Milwaukee, WI, Susquehanna Sherman of Mt. Wolf, PA, Malverne Mel of Malverne, NY, Holstville Hal of Holtsville NY, Buckeye Chuck of Marion, OH and Rosie the Groundhog of Dayton, all agree with The General and the majority of the Canadian rodents that Spring will come early this year.

That’s a lot of sleepy, grumpy groundhogs pulling for Spring.

With that kind of consensus, I’m thinking Phil, who has been doing this since 1886, might be off this year and should start thinking about retirement.

He and Peyton Manning can keep each other company.

©2014, Beckerman. All rights reserved.

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7 responses to “Forget the Fox… What Does the Groundhog Say?

  1. Whichever says there will be six more weeks of football would be my favorite.

  2. Staten Island Chuck says we’re fucked. I’m inclined to agree with him.

  3. Funny, Tracy. I hope you’re right. I go back to work on March 15 and don’t want to do it in the snow. It tends to keep the guests away. sd

  4. I think you’re onto something with Phil and Manning! Bundle up sister!