Top 5 Tips to Avoid the Big, Fat Halloween Weight Gain

There were many years when we would spend the whole month of October, and sometimes, even some of September, planning out my kids’ costumes for Halloween.

1382345_10153437737705354_2050774568_nThe problem was there were way too many costume choices, and the stores started promoting the holiday way too early.

This has had the combined effect of –
a) working my kids up into a month-long, pre-halloween costume frenzy, and
b) almost making my head explode.

By the time they finally chose their costumes, I was typically so overwrought from the experience, that I would have polished off three bags of bite-sized Halloween candy three weeks before the big night.

Fortunately, as my kids got older, they were less concerned with what they would wear for Halloween, ultimately throwing on one of the dog’s old costumes the night before they went trick or treating.

While this should have been good news for me, it presented something of a problem: I no longer had an excuse for eating all that Halloween candy.

Yes, it’s true… I used pre-halloween stress as a rationale for pigging out on fun-sized candy bars.
Some women blame weight gain on pregnancy. I blame mine on Halloween.

Clearly I couldn’t let my kids take the fall for all the poundage. Someone had to buy all that candy three to four weeks before Halloween arrived and leave it around the house… and it wasn’t the Candy Corn fairy.

The problem with pigging out on Halloween candy, of course, is that it starts a chocolate cycle that can last right through Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years. Before you know it, you’re up 10 pounds and looking through a rack of muumuus for the beach yet again.

This being the case, this year I decided to break with tradition so I did not end up looking like a human jackolantern. While this is a good look for pumpkins around Halloween, it is not such a good look for stay at home moms. So, after ten plus years of experience, I have developed a list of things to do (and not do) to avoid the Big, Fat, Halloween Weight Gain.

1. Don’t Pre-Shop the Candy Sales
Just because the stores are selling the Halloween candy the day right after the 4th of July, doesn’t mean you have to buy it then. The earlier you buy it, the more you are going to snack on it until Halloween. There is no downside to buying your candy at the last possible minute other than the possibility that the only thing left will be Mounds and Almond Joys, which leads us to point number 2:

2. Buy What You Hate
This doesn’t work for me because I am an equal opportunity candy eater. I have never met a candy I don’t like and will gladly lick the chocolate off anything I find repugnant. However, if you hate coconut, by all means, load up on Almond Joys and Mounds. You’ll be less likely to eat it (but unfortunately, the kids don’t like it either, so try to hate something else).  If that doesn’t work, at least…

3. Buy What Your Husband Likes
He’ll eat it up before you do. All is fair in love and weight gain.

4. Get Rid of it… Fast
Don’t let the candy linger in your home. Find a person who is needier and thinner than you and give your leftover candy away.

5. If You Can’t Get Rid of it… Leave it in the Sun
This works best for chocolate. Our kitchen table gets direct sun all morning. I learned the hard way that chocolate Halloween candy left on the kitchen table quickly becomes chocolate soup. It is much less tempting when it is glued to the wrappers…

But still edible.

©2013, Beckerman. All rights reserved.

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1 Comment

Filed under Who Are These Children and Why are they Calling Me Mommy

One response to “Top 5 Tips to Avoid the Big, Fat Halloween Weight Gain

  1. You make me laugh, Tracy!
    I have utilized tip # 2. I use it year-round in my classroom and only buy candy incentives for my students that I despise. I hadn’t thought about stocking up on candy the Missus loves. The Missus may be in trouble! You’re an evil genius! See you at the gym!