Mom Jeans, Minivans, and Vibrators, Oh My!

Screen Shot 2013-05-20 at 12.44.15 PMWhen you are going on TV to promote your book, you expect that you will be talking about… your book.

You do NOT expect that you are going to be talking about vibrators.

Was there a mention of vibrators in my book? Well, yes, actually, there was. About two sentences.

However, most of the book is about becoming a mom, quitting my job, moving to the ‘burbs, and losing my cool. So when I appeared on The Today Show with Hoda and Kathie Lee, I naturally assumed we would focus on those topics.

But just as we rounded the corner on the conversation about mom jeans and minivans, Hoda Kotb let it fly.

“So one of your kids, your son, happened upon your vibrator…”


In case there was any confusion as to what she meant by the word, “vibrator,” Kathie Lee was kind enough to clarify.

“Hoda, it’s called an Adult Toy!”

Me, demonstrating the proper technique one employs to use a vibrator as a back massager.

Me, demonstrating the proper technique one employs to use a vibrator as a back massager.

Had I checked my Twitter feed right then, I would have noticed that I suddenly started getting new followers with names like “Sexy Lexi,” “Dominatrix Delia,” and “Hardcore Helen.” But unfortunately, I was still on TV, and at this point there was nothing I could do but tell the story about the time my then three-year old son found my “personal massager” in my bed.


Just in case you were not sure, this was not really the story I wanted to be sharing on national TV, but I went with it because,
a) it’s live.
b) sadly, there was no five second delay where we could have bleeped the word “vibrator” and replaced it with the word, “light saber.”
c) I couldn’t reach the power cord on the TV camera to yank it out of the wall.

So, no big deal. Maybe the 2.5 million people who watched the show would think of me as an empowered feminist who was woman enough to meet my own sexual needs. Or maybe they would all think I was a suburban sex addict who left my Fifty Shades of Gray arsenal lying around for my kids to use as action figures. Who cares. As long as it sells books.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAStill, I had some ‘splaining to do. First there was my niece and nephew who watched the segment with my brother and his wife and then wanted to know what was so funny about their cousin finding a personal massager. Then there was my mother who wondered how she was going to look her bridge club in the eye. My husband and daughter, of course were horrified, and my son wanted to know if he could change his last name and go move to Easter Island.

And then there was the lady at Crate and Barrel.

“Excuse me,” she asked as I paid for a gift I bought at the store later that afternoon.
“Did I see you on TV this morning talking about how your son found your vibrator?”

I shook my head.
“No, that wasn’t me,” I lied.
“But I’m sure whoever that woman was, she would want you to buy her book.”

To see my interview on The Today Show, CLICK ON THE LINK BELOW

NBC TODAY Show _ Mom: How My Son Found My Adult… by hulu

To read the section of my book about the vibrator, you’ll have to buy the book! Don’t worry, it’s worth it!

Screen Shot 2013-05-20 at 12.43.01 PMPS… After the segment, I gave Hoda and Kathie Lee their very own ducky bathrobes so they could be honorary suburban moms who drive in their bathrobes. THIS was the story from the book, I thought I would tell on the show! Had I known the story they would actually bring up, I guess I would have brought them ducky vibrators.

PPS.. My friend Nicole mentions this story today on her wonderful blog, Sisters from Another Mister, where she also does a review of my book. You can check that out here!

My friend Jessica also posted about the book on her blog, Savvy Southern Parent. Jessica and I had a chance to hang out in Charlotte on my Cool Mom Book and Blow Dry Bar Tour! You can read her review here!



Filed under Lost in Suburbia Book Tour

18 responses to “Mom Jeans, Minivans, and Vibrators, Oh My!

  1. I just want to know if Kathi Lee remembered and told you the joke about naming one’s child for the place where they were conceived.

  2. While not the story you wanted to tell, it’s fantastic. My son found one of my erotic romances in my room and started to read it when he was 11. He still busts on me about my porn stash.

  3. I was not surprised it got so “interesting” It is a fabulous story in the book- worth the price on its own!

  4. So funny! What’s with the bathrobes though? I live in NJ and we don’t drive around in bathrobes! – Shelley

  5. So funny! Because I’m sitting at home without an audience and can laugh. You managed to smooth it over with your usual élan. Good going. sd

  6. Sex sells girl. Now you have an entirely new marketing strategy!

  7. Too too funny…but I’m with you, as long as it sells books! Your family can always go into the witness protection program and change their identities. 🙂

  8. Oh Dear Lord…I don’t know who I’d want knowing about my vibrator less…my kids or Kathy Lee. Complete toss up.