The Dog is Out to Ruin Me

If you read my post last week about my phone call with The Today Show, then you know how the dog chose that exact moment to interrupt my call and pee all over the floor. Then when I tired to clean up the mess while still on the call, I managed to throw my phone across the room and hang up on The Today Show.

Well, you know that all adage, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me?” Having learned from my mistake, this time when I had an important conference call, I put the dog outside. He disappeared to go play in the fenced in yard and I was able to complete my call without the disruption of the Nile River of Dog Pee flowing through my kitchen.

But when I called him and he arrived back at the door, this is what I saw:

Monty mud 1 In case you are not familiar with my dog, he is an all white English Golden Retriever. Those brown spots are not fur. They are mud. Lots and lots of mud. His face was covered. His paws were covered. His tail and his entire belly were covered in mud. Apparently “He-Who-Pees-in-the-House” decided to change his name to, “He-Who-Burrows-in-the-Mud.”

Here’s another view:
Muddy Monty

Now, hot on the heels of my conference call, I was supposed to leave for a meeting. But there was no way I could let the dog in the house and leave until I de-mudified him. Naturally, when I opened the door to usher him into the bathroom, he decided to take the long way there and did a muddy cha cha through three rooms before I could collar him and drag him into the bathroom… where he then proceeded to mudify the entire bathroom before I was able to get him in the tub.

Two hours later, the dog was clean, the bathroom was clean, the other rooms were clean, and I looked like I’d been wrestling in a mud pit.

So now Monty is in the doghouse. I know dogs will be dogs, but I suspect he may be trying to sabotage my career, and for that reason, he has been found guilty of Reckless Puppyness.

monty mug shot

So the moral of THIS story is, if you are trying to have a successful career as an author and columnist, get a BLACK DOG! (And preferably one with a large bladder.)

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Meanwhile, back on the book tour, I have a couple of updates:

Barista Kids is helping me spread the word that I will be speaking and signing books at Watchung Books in Montclair, NJ on April 25th at 7pm. You can check out the article and interview I did for them HERE!

My dear friend Chloe Jeffreys wrote a fabulous review of “Lost in Suburbia: A Momoir” over on her new site, Generation Fabulous. Chloe says, “Tracy writes poignantly about the powerful internal tug-of-war that happens inside many working mothers–except that wackadoodle workaholic CEO at Yahoo–between meeting their own needs for achievement and success and the needs of their children for a onsite caregiver who passionately loves them.”
You can read more of her review HERE.

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THE TODAY SHOW!!

KLGPlease remember to tune in to “The Today Show” Tuesday morning on NBC between 10 and 11am when I talk about my book with Hoda and Kathie Lee! Yes, I’m a little nervous! Let me know if you’ll be watching so I know I have some friends out there!!

xo

Tracy

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17 Comments

Filed under It's a Dog's Life, Lost in Suburbia Book Tour

17 responses to “The Dog is Out to Ruin Me

  1. Margaret Haynes Meritt

    HaHa! Love this post! Don’t think a black dog is any better! I have a yellow lab and a black one. Depending on the situation, it’s always a mess! Either there’s black fur on my white pants or yellow fur on my black pants (plus drool)!

  2. Monty is definitely the star at your house, Tracy. What a pup! How about trading him in for a housebroken cat that likes to lie in the sun coming in the window? 🙂

  3. Love it, Tracy! Left a comment. sd

  4. I have two black dogs, both about the size of your Monty. I have learned so many lessons from them: I dress in mostly black. I just had all the family room furniture reupholstered, in a selection of black checks and stripes, and some select toss pillows in tan with black highlights. Camouflage clothing, camouflage upholstery. Unfortunately, our son and his wife, Wesley and Betty, have beagles – who despite being various shades of black, tan and white – shed only white hairs. Yes, dogs are out to get us. All I can say is that in my case, the spouse is too…

    Love your photos of Monty. He should autograph books for you…

    Emma Ann

  5. Carol Poppe

    Of course we’ll be watching, plus we’ll record it for Uncle Andy to see later in the day. Wish you the best. Love, Aunt Carol and Lauren

    Sent from my iPad

    • Hey Aunt Carol! SO great to see you on here. I’m hoping you got the email about the appearance being rescheduled (and it had nothing to do with Monty, I hope). Did you get a copy of the book yet? Make sure to bring it when you come visit so I can sign it for you!!

  6. These animals are smarter than we think, and I believe they DO sabotage! They want ALL of our attention. I had a deadline to final edit my book, so my cat decided that would be a GREAT time to play hide-and-seek from me for six days while the whole family hunted for him !I

    And I ALWAYS watch Hoda and Kathie Lee, so I’ll be watching you too. Good luck!

  7. I have sympathy for your animals, although my dog and cat could register their own complaints with yours. My pets always have their biggest personal crises — whether dietary or emotional — in the middle of the night. My toddler is FINALLY sleeping through the night (mostly), but I frequently don’t, but usually because my cat or my dog wake me up for some urgent reason.
    In any case, I’m so excited to discover your blog, and I just found out that I won a copy of your book from Stacy at One Funny Motha. I’m so excited! I had read about it on Amazon, and I can’t wait to read it!

  8. Congrats on winning a copy of the book. Stacy is awesome too (and she really is One Funny Motha!!). So glad you found me and are stopping by. Hope you enjoy the book. It won’t help with the toddler or pets, but it will give you something to do when you are woken up in the middle of the night and can’t get back to sleep! 🙂

  9. Debbie Tlumacki, Warren NJ

    Monty is still beautiful, mud and all

  10. Hey! Thanks for the link and the mention. You made writing a book review uber-easy by writing a book worth reviewing! You had me nodding in agreement with your conclusions, and cheering you on from the sidelines as you got your cool back.