T’was a Week Before Christmas

santa
’Twas a week before Christmas and we all were still shopping
Brookstone was packed and the Mac store was hopping
A sale at the Gap and at Lucky Brand beckoned.
There was 50 cents left in my wallet, I reckoned.

But the stocking was stuffed and the tips had been tipped.
The gift to Aunt Millie had finally been shipped.
The cards had gone out and we’d hung up the wreath,
So my husband and I breathed a sigh of relief.

The children were safely all tucked in their beds
as visions of Christmas gifts danced in their heads.
More Barbies, more Furbies, more Transformers too.
Dreaming of Angry Birds, Elmo and Pooh.

Then from way up above there arose such a clatter.
My husband ran up to see what was the matter.
Someone was walking up there on the house.
And that someone was bigger for sure than a mouse.

A burglar? A reindeer? What could it be?
Something was headed straight for our chimney.

And then with an “oomf” and an “ugh” he came down,
Not through the chimney but down to the ground.
With big rosy cheeks and good cheer galore
Our mystery roof-walker appeared at the door.

“I’m the guy that you called, I’m a roofer named Kringle.
That Hurricane Sandy? She ruined your shingles.
“You need a new roof,” said the man dressed in red.
“If you don’t do it soon it’ll fall in on your head.”

We looked at the children asleep in their beds,
At the pile of bills, and then scratched our heads.
Then we gave him a Visa to clean up the mess
Because Kringle won’t take American Express.

©2012, Beckerman. All rights reserved.
FINAL Book Cover copyMy new book, “Lost in Suburbia: A Momoir. How I Got Pregnant. Lost Myself, and Got My Cool Back in the New Jersey Suburbs” is now available for PRE-ORDER! Yes, I know it won’t be out for 4 months, but think of how excited you’ll be in anticipation of receiving your copy the moment it comes out!” To pre-order yours, CLICK HERE>

To become a fan of Lost in Suburbia on Facebook, CLICK HERE
To follow me on Twitter, CLICK HERE

Advertisements

9 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

9 responses to “T’was a Week Before Christmas

  1. Carol Baron

    Tracy, my poet, I just loved this Mom

    Sent from my iPad

  2. This cracked me up! Had to Twitter share! 🙂

  3. He tossed us his card and a wee bell
    Chortling “I’ll get on it soon.. ring for my cell”
    Ho-Ho-Hoing, as he peeled out the drive
    “Later, ya’ll. Project three-hundred-and-five “

  4. So funny! Even for someone who really did need a new roof thanks to Hurricane Sandy. Hope you were joking about that part for yourself. If not, at least we have new roofs, right?

    As another extravagant Christmas gift, I also treated my husband to new brake lines for his truck. Never say 17 years of marriage means we can’t still overspend on each other for the holidays…

  5. Clever, cute and all those adjectives. Sorry about your roof. I had to have mine done last spring. Yikes! And, I’m sure your roof is much larger than mine. Yikes! Yikes!