Up a Creek without a Coffeemaker

When we first moved to the ‘burbs, I was warned by my neighbors that power outages were pretty common in our neck of the woods. I suspected that the large number of trees towering over the power lines might have had something to do with that. So, in anticipation of the next power outage or quite possibly, the zombie apocalypse, I bought enough bottled water to fill a swimming pool, six self-cooling coolers to hold all the food in the fridge, a bazillion cans of creamed corn, and batteries up the wazoo.

I had a plan for every lack-of-power scenario. But the one thing I forgot about was…

The coffee maker.

I love coffee. I love the smell of it brewing and the first taste of it when it hits my tongue. I love it strong, and dark and loaded with caffeine.

Do I have a coffee addiction? Maybe? Do I have a coffee MAKER addiction? No doubt. I have coffee makers for just about any coffee situation. I have a twelve-cup coffee maker, a ten-cup coffee maker, a four-cup coffee maker and a one-cup coffee maker. I have five different brands of automatic coffee makers, one espresso machine, and an old fashioned percolator… and those are just the coffee makers I am currently using. I also have three older coffee makers that are in semi-retirement.

Hey, some women buy shoes. I buy coffee makers.

While all of these coffee makers have various pluses and minuses, there is, of course, one problem with all of them…

They all plug in.

Therefore, even though I have ten coffee makers, when we lost power, I had no way to make coffee.

Additionally, while I am a coffee maker addict, I am also a coffee drinking snob. With an entire pantry filled with various exotic coffee beans, I do not have a spec of instant coffee. Even under the most dire circumstances, I’d rather chew whole coffee beans and swirl hot water around in my mouth than drink instant coffee.

Although my head was clouded by a lack of caffeine, I had the presence of mind to realize that the one thing I did need that I didn’t have, was a French Press.

“I cannot believe I don’t have a French Press!” I wailed to my husband when I realized that I could be coffee-less until the power came back on. “Why don’t I have a French Press?”

“I believe you said, ‘With ten coffeemakers, a French Press would be over the top,’” he responded.

“Well THAT was dumb,” I retorted.

“I know,” said my husband. “Who would think that having eleven coffee makers would be so much more ridiculous that having ten!!”

I glared at him. I was in no mood to be ridiculed. I was a woman without caffeine and I was not to be reckoned with.

Fortunately, the coffee gods were smiling upon me, and the next day the power was restored. I woke up, made a huge pot of coffee and then grabbed my car keys.

“I’m outta here,” I said to my husband as I headed to the door.

“You’re going to buy a French Press aren’t you?” He asked snidely.

“No,” I said. “That would be silly…

“I’m going to buy a generator.”

©2012, Beckerman. All rights reserved.
To become a fan of Lost in Suburbia on Facebook, CLICK HERE
To follow me on Twitter, CLICK HERE



Filed under This Old House

5 responses to “Up a Creek without a Coffeemaker

  1. Joel Beckerman


  2. I used to work for Sunbeam, which owned the Mr. Coffee brand. We loved coffee freaks like yourself, although 10 is a little overboard. Wow………I pressure, yet slightly worrisome.

  3. So funny, but good thinking. You can get a no-electric percolator at a camping store. Of course, your coffee might have that slightly scorched taste. But then, in an emergency, who cares?