Tying One On For Father’s Day

Finding a gift for Father’s Day can be a heck of a challenge when the guy you love doesn’t wear ties.

I think my husband, however, must be in the minority, if the proliferation of ties and tie-themed gifts that pop up around this holiday are any indication. In addition to your plain old necktie, there’s also the popular tie-rack, tie-organizer and electric tie-carousel for the guy who’s closet isn’t that tidy. There are tie clips and tie pins and already tied-ties for those who failed tying knots in boy scouts.

Ties, it seems are such popular ideas with manufacturers that they don’t even limit them to the obvious wearable kind anymore.
I recently blogged about the pillow tie, which does double duty as clothing and a place to rest your head at work. This makes more sense to me than the cookies in the shape of a tie for dad. I have to assume this is meant to be eaten, not worn.

But that’s kind of a crummy gift, anyway.

If your dad is the sporty-type, you can get him a tie with his favorite team logo imprinted on it… although I’ve never seen a guy at a ballgame wearing a tie.

If you get mad at him, you can tell him to go fly a kite that’s shaped like a tie. And if he likes party games, you can buy him, “Pin the Tie on the Businessman.”

For the dad who has only one thing on his mind, one Internet site suggests you greet him at the door wearing one of his ties… and nothing else.

Try explaining that one to the kids.

I always found it odd that ties would be considered a great gift item, anyway. Ties are a pretty personal choice. Most guys I know are as likely to let their wives pick out their ties, as the wives are to let their husbands pick out their bikinis. Can you blame the guys? It’s probably the last remaining aspect of their lives where they have any say.

And does any guy really need new ties every year, anyway? New shirts, new socks, new suits, I can see. But another tie? I suppose if the last time he bought a tie was during the disco era, it might be time to update his wardrobe. But do the 2012 ties really look all that different from the 2011 ties? And if some other guy notices that you are wearing last year’s tie, do you really want to be friends with that guy anyway?

Since I am, as usual, down to the 11th hour in buying my hubby a gift for Father’s Day, and I am, ahem, fit to be tied for what to get him, I wondered if I should jump on the bandwagon and get him a tie.

I could use it to blindfold him when I spin him around at Brookstone and let him pick out his own darn gift.

©2012, Beckerman. All rights reserved.
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One response to “Tying One On For Father’s Day

  1. There are many other creative uses for ties, as I found out after reading Fifty Shades of Grey.