Ode to the Flu

Who the heck gets the Flu in May?


From the nurse I get a call
I see the writing on the wall,
My daughter has a temp, and so
My fate is sealed, of this I know
She’ll cough at me and then I, too
Will have a case of ?#@&%! FLU.

It came upon me very quickly
Before I knew it, I was quite sickly
Sneezing, wheezing, fever, chills,
Downing Nyquil, popping pills,
I see the dog is sneezing, too
I guess we both have ?#@&%! FLU

My head’s stuffed up, I feel like crap
I really want to take a nap
But we’re out of Cap’n Crunch and Coke
The laundry pile is no joke
The dog is sick, the fish are dead
No one made their stinkin’ bed
The sink is full of dirty dishes
Someone’s got to flush the fishes.
There is just way too much to do
Even when I have the ?#@&%! FLU.

Crawling sadly out of bed
Stuffy, drippy, achy, dead
I make the beds, I wash some fishes
Clean the clothes, and flush the dishes
I make some tea and rest my head
I think I feel a tad less dead.
But as I sit, the phone rings out.
Not good news, I have no doubt
My son is at the school nurse, too
Now he’s got the ?#@&%! FLU.

©2012, Beckerman. All rights reserved.
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Filed under Who Are These Children and Why are they Calling Me Mommy

5 responses to “Ode to the Flu

  1. I couldn’t help but laugh! I just had it too, and now my husband has it. Of course, HIS case is FAR worse than mine! 🙂

    • Well, i’m sure his case isn’t worse than yours.. he’s making a bigger deal out of it! My husband had a cold and looked up his symptoms on Web MD… called me and told me he thought he had Arctic Seal Poisoning. I said, “you have to eat spoiled seal to get Arctic Seal Poisoning.”

  2. My favorite couplet:
    The sink is full of dirty dishes
    Someone’s got to flush the fishes.

    And curious to hear how much your husband gets done when he’s sick…

    • How hard has this hit the local communities ? And I don’t mean the flu itelsf, it has been blown out of proportions by sensationalist media .. I mean the economic impact.

  3. He can’t do anything when he is sick because, you know, he is at Death’s Door. We are all just so lucky he makes it back from having a cold alive.