How I Became My Mother

It’s happened. I’ve officially become my mother.

It started at 5:45 this morning when my 16 year-old son got up to work out and blasted his music so loud Elvis could hear it on whatever planet he now lives on.

“You know you can go deaf from listening to the music that loud!” I scolded him.

“What?” he asked, cupping his ear.

At 6:30, I saw him packing up his backpack.

“Did you have breakfast?” I asked him.

“No,” he said.

“You have to have breakfast,” I responded. “It’s the most important meal of the day.”

“No,” he said. “Dessert is the most important meal of the day.”

At 7am he got into the car to go to school.

“Where’s your jacket?” I asked.

“I don’t need one,” he said.

“It’s freezing out!” I bellowed. “You will catch your death of cold.”

“What the heck does that mean?” he wondered.

“It means you’ll get sick.”

“Then just say I’ll get sick,” he retorted.

“You’ll get sick,” I repeated.

“That’s an old wives tale,” he said.

“Well, I’m an old wife,” I said.

At 7:15 we got to the school.

“Have a good day!” I said cheerily. “Mind your P’s and Q’s.”

“What are those?” he asked.

“Your manners.”

“How does manners mean P’s and Q’s?”

“It doesn’t,” I admitted.

“Then why did you say it?” he wondered.

I sighed. “Because I have become my mother.”

“That’s OK,” he said. “I’ll probably become Dad one day.”

©2012, Beckerman. All rights reserved.
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4 responses to “How I Became My Mother

  1. Brittany aka Pretty Handy Girl

    I love this. And how sweet of your son to equate himself to becoming his father. Oh and I’m sooo guilty of using momisms my mother used ;-(

  2. He ADORES his dad. Which is pretty cool considering he is 16! Thanks!!

  3. As much as we swear we will NEVAH become our parents, we all succumb at some point. I love to hear my kids making fun of me and my husband, ’cause I know in a few short years they are going to be doing and saying the exact same things they are making fun of us for right now.

  4. My family suffers from some kind of flawed speech gene that compels us to serenade steak and say things like, “We rented an iPod to store our furniture.” (But honestly, who wouldn’t love an app that downloaded their belongings directly into their new house?)

    I’ve accepted my family’s shortcomings as my destiny and choose to laugh instead of cry. As I once told my mother, “It’s less painful than beating my head against a dead horse.”