What’s Green and Slimy and Swims in Our Pool? (Hint: It’s not Shrek)

When we bought our house 11 years ago, we were a little hesitant about the fact that there was a pool in the backyard. With two kids ages 3 and 5, we were understandably nervous about having a large body of water in the back of the house. But we loved the house and the neighborhood, and the pool was really pretty so we put a huge fence around it, signed the kids up for swim lessons and got a mortgage.

Had I known then what I know now, I would have realized that the issue would not be the kids in the pool, but every other darn animal in the state of New Jersey.

The first spring we opened the pool, a pair of mallards flew up from Florida with the intention of making our pool their summer residence.

They came back every year for 10 years.

In case you were wondering, THAT, is a lot of duck poop in the pool.

Yeah, kinda disgusting.

The following summer, field mice discovered the pool. Now here is a news flash for you: Mice do not swim. However, the mice didn’t seem to realize this and so for three months I found myself fishing floating mice out of the filters.

That was kinda disgusting, too.

The third summer, our dog Riley discovered that he was a retriever. Retrievers are supposed to swim into bodies of water to retrieve ducks. Riley was not big on the duck idea, but he was actually fond of retrieving Frisbees out of the pool. He was so fond of this, that if no one actually happened to throw the Frisbee into the pool, he would drop it into the pool himself and then dive in to get it.

In case you were wondering, THAT, is a lot of dog hair in the pool.

Anyway, except for the occasional drowned bumblebee, that was pretty much it for the non-human pool guests.

But then yesterday I went out to the pool to enjoy what would most likely be, with Fall approaching, our last pool week. Apparently, though, someone else had the same idea.

As I turned my back to the pool to set up a chaise lounge, I heard a small splash.

The splash was definitely too small to be the dog, and yet it was too large to be a branch.

I scoured the pool to try to find the source of the splash.

This is when I noticed something big and green skimming the bottom of the pool in what can only be described as “frog strokes.”

“What the heck?” I said out loud to the dog.

I marched down to the other end of the pool where the swimmer had stopped, looked down, and saw this:

It was quite obviously a frog. But it wasn’t JUST a frog. It was an uber frog. A GINORMOUS frog. It was like Frogzilla! It was easily the size of my foot. I had never seen a frog that size in our backyard before, ever, and yet here it was, suddenly, doing laps in my pool.

I grabbed a net to try to get it out, but Frogzilla was just too fast. Then I thought it might hop out when the dog went for his swim, but it seemed happy enough to share the pool.

I was equal parts fascinated and disgusted and didn’t know what to do, so I called my husband.

“There is an enormous frog in the pool,” I said. “What shoud I do.”

“You need to get it out,” he said. “There are a ton of chemicals in the pool.”

I paused, I had been so focused on how having a frog in the pool affected me that I hadn’t thought of how being in the pool might affect the frog.

“What will happen if the frog stays in the pool?” I asked.

My husband snorted. “I guess he will croak.”

©2011, Beckerman. All rights reserved.
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3 Comments

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3 responses to “What’s Green and Slimy and Swims in Our Pool? (Hint: It’s not Shrek)

  1. Croak!! classic!! Yeah, it sound like it sound be a nature pond and not so much a human pool! Haha, the wildlife thank you!!

    Lynn

  2. Oh that is just too funny! LOL

  3. Hop’in over from BPNH 🙂

    Eeeeeeek, I’d probably faint if I see any of the above in our pool!!! You are a brave woman! Okay, maybe duck poops (they’re gross but…) I can still tolerate, but field mice and a ginormous frog? I would have a panic attack right there and then!

    ps: whatever happened to Frogzilla at the end?