How to Make Enemies and Annoy Celebrities in a Parking Garage

“Look Mom, it’s Paul Simon’s car!”

I turned in the NYC parking garage and gazed in the direction that my son was pointing.

There was a black SUV parked directly behind me, and on the windshield, under the windshield wiper, was a torn piece of paper that said “Paul Simon.”

I snorted. “It’s not Paul Simon’s car,” I said.

“How do you know?” asked my son.

“I think if it was really Paul Simon’s car, there would be a more official sign on it than a scrap of paper. Or probably no sign. Either way, it is a joke,” I said knowingly.

Granted, the car did have a primo spot in the lot. And it was a really nice SUV. But I didn’t think that celebs were generally in the habit of marking their cars with handwritten notes pointing out who the car belongs to, AND I doubted that the lot employees new or cared who Paul Simon was. Art Garfunkel, maybe. But not Paul Simon.

Still, I thought it was kind of funny. So I pulled out my pocket camera that I keep in my bag for just this kind of situation, and I leaned in and took a picture of the sign.

Then I laughed, turned around, and almost stepped on Paul Simon’s wife.

She looked somewhat amused.

I was mortified.

“Oh. Oh jeez. This is embarrassing,” I stammered. “Here you are coming to pick up your car and you find some idiot taking a picture of your windshield.”

She smiled indulgently.

“I’m really sorry,” I said. “Um. Nice car!”

She continued smiling. I had no idea what else to say.

Fortunately, at that moment, our car arrived. I started to get into the passenger seat and then stopped and turned to her.

It suddenly occurred to me that I wasn’t 100% sure the woman standing there was, in fact, Paul Simon’s wife. Maybe I had just made an idiot out of myself in front of someone who actually couldn’t care less that I was taking a picture of Paul Simon’s car.

I had to ask.

“You are Edie Brickell, right?” I asked her.

“Yes,” she said.

“Oh, good,” I responded. “I wasn’t sure. Maybe you should have a sign on you, too.”

©2011, Beckerman. All rights reserved.
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16 responses to “How to Make Enemies and Annoy Celebrities in a Parking Garage

  1. duh, who would mark their car with note like that?!?! oh. nevermind. love it!

  2. What a great story! Good thing you knew who his wife was! ‘Cause that would’ve been embarassing if you would’ve said, “You ARE, um, Mrs. Paul Simon, right?” (Incidentally, I also keep my camera ready as a writer, and I was in a large store in the big earthquake we had here in No. VA…and I managed to get a pic of…wait for it…SOME SCARY DEODERANT THAT FELL ON THE FLOOR!)

  3. OK. Here’s the blog post I did on it. I call it, “The unveiling of the great earthquake photo–Walmart Aisle Destruction.” Be sure to shield the eyes of any small children.
    And keep up the great work, Lost in Suburbia blog! 🙂

    • Great post! Wow! You really were in the middle of it.
      Love this line:
      “No doubt the empty cart there was from someone who clearly bolted at the sight of Old Spices flying.”
      Thanks for sharing that! Can’t wait to read more from you. I’m a fan!

  4. That is a great story. I didn’t know they were still married. Wasn’t he married to Carrie Fischer? Maybe not… See? I would have said, “are you Carrie Fischer?”

  5. I adore Edie Brickell – and now I’m so jealous that you bumped into her. Do they use little signs to ID VIPs like that? Funny.

    Great story!

  6. Joanna

    I am wondering why you think they will recognize Art Garfunkel and not Paul Simon? I believe Paul Simon is more famous, he is the one who has a successful solo career. He won a lot of Grammys and is honored many times for his fabulous songwriting.

  7. Christina S.

    Love it! I had no clue he was married to Edie Brickell. That’s Eddie of “Edie Brickell and the New Bohemians”, right? I wondered what ever happened to her.