Texting for Teens… and Seniors

When we got our kids cellphones, we thought it would make our lives much easier because we could reach the kids whenever we needed to. Little did I know at the time that it was going to make things a whole lot more difficult because they preferred to text, rather than talk. The problem was, there is a whole texting shorthand that they knew that I did not. I had no idea what LOL or GTG or TTYL meant and I had to look it all up online so my kids did not think I was even more of an idiot than they already thought I was. Of course it is forbidden for me to use text shortcuts when responding to them because that is just incredibly embarrassing to them. But at least I understand what they are saying when they text me now.

All was going along fine for a while and then one day I got a text from my father. This was a surprise because I did not know my dad even knew how to text. Even more shocking was the fact that he knew text shorthand. However, apparently, there is a whole different shorthand for seniors than there is for teens. For instance, when my teen texts “JK,” he is saying, “Just Kidding.” When my dad texts “JK”, he is saying, “Just Kvetching.”

Sadly, I realized that I was going to have to scour the Web to learn a whole other set of text shorthands so I could now understand my PARENTS.

So, with some help from some of my friends on the Internet, I present to you a text shorthand comparison:

Shorthand…….Teen Interpretation…….Senior interpretation
BTW………………….By the Way………………………Bring the Wheelchair
OMG………………….Oh My God ……………………..Oy, my grandchildren!
FWIW………………..For What it’s Worth………….Forgot Where I Was
IMHO………………..In my Humble Opinion……..Is my Hearing-Aid on?
WTF………………….What the F***…………………..What’s Today’s Fish?
GP…………………….Goin’ Partying…………………..Got Prunes?
TTYL…………………Talk to You Later………………Talk to You Louder
WTG………………….Way to Go………………………..Where’s the Gas-X
AAF…………………..Always and Forever……………At a Funeral

Slightly different Acronyms:

ROFLMAO…….Teen:………Rolling on the Floor, Laughing my A** Off
ROFLACGU……Senior:…….Rolling on the Floor Laughing… And Can’t Get Up

TFMTS………….Teen:………Time for Me to Study
TFTEBS…………Senior:…….Time for the Early Bird Special

NADT……………Teen:………Not a Damn Thing
NANH……………Senior:……Need a New Hip

©2011, Beckerman. All rights reserved.
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4 Comments

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4 responses to “Texting for Teens… and Seniors

  1. Tracy, this is hilarious. The worst thing is when teenagers have their phones in restaurants and they have really irritating incoming text noises. I hope that something else will be in vogue by the time my kids get there. They are only 6 and 4. Love and irreverence, Sue

  2. Whatever it is that your kids are into when they are teens, you know that it will be annoying to their parents. Comes with the territory!

  3. My father texts then calls and booms into the answering machine: MY THUMBS ARE TOO GODDAMN FAT FOR THIS. PICK UP YOUR PHONE I KNOW YOU’RE THERE.
    then wants play by play instructions on how to ….
    it’s exhausting. My 13 yo claims technology is wasted on the older generations.

  4. You father sounds like mine!! Too funny. At least your 13 year old talks to you.. mine just texts me!