Having just blogged about our family’s unusual toilet paper issues, you would not be surprised to know that I always thought I had the worst toilet paper issues of everyone I know. I’m not just particular about the softness, and quiltedness and number of plys and all that, I’m also particular about the way the toilet paper is hung. Of course, in our house, most of the time, there is no toilet paper on the toilet paper dispenser anyway, which is probably why I have so many toilet paper issues in the first place.

Anyway, as I said, I was sure that I was the reigning queen of toilet paper issues until I heard a story from a friend of mine who is similarly TP-challenged. I have to admit I don’t usually tell other people’s stories, but this one was too good to pass up.

My friend Mary (last name withheld to protect the guilty) told me that she went to another friend’s house and, while visiting the restroom, discovered that the homeowner had hung the toilet paper upside down, with the end square hanging down behind the roll, rather than up over the top. This disturbed Mary to such an extent that she felt compelled to remove the toilet paper and rehang it in the “right” direction. Not satisfied to simply right this wrong in one bathroom, she visited each of her friend’s other 2 bathrooms and rehung all those rolls as well. Then the two ladies left together for a girls’ weekend away.

Several hours later, Mary decided she had to say something about the major toilet paper infraction she had discovered in her pal’s bathrooms.

“You know I’m a little neurotic about some things,” she started. “So when I used your bathroom before we left, I noticed that you hung your toilet paper in the wrong direction.”

Her friend laughed.

“I know,” she admitted. “I have to do it that way, otherwise the cats will grab the top of the toilet paper and unravel the entire roll and rip it to shreds all over the house.”

“Is that so?” said Mary with a nervous laugh.

“Yes!” said the homeowner. “It’s a nightmare to clean up. And then sometimes they will eat the toilet paper too, and then throw it up on the rug.”

“Really?” whispered Mary.

“Yes,” said her friend.

“You know,” said Mary after thinking for a moment. “I’ve heard that cats can remove a roll of toilet paper and put it back on the dispenser in the opposite direction.”

“No kidding!?!” commented her friend, incredulously.

“Yeah,” said Mary. “You might want to remember that when you get home.”

©2011, Beckerman. All rights reserved.
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