Cleanliness is Next to Impossibleness

When Bad Things Happen to Good Grill Tools

When Bad Things Happen to Good Grill Tools

“Honey, have you seen my grill tools?” asked my husband, as he ran in from his grilling post on the back deck. I pointed to the cabinet over the fridge. “No, those are my BACK-UP grill tools,” he clarified. “I’m looking for my GOOD grill tools.” I rolled my eyes. I knew what grill tools he was looking for. They…

Make Like a Tree and Leave

Make Like a Tree and Leave

“Don’t you love fall foliage?” A friend of mine asked as we watched brilliant leaves of red, orange and gold waft down from the trees. “It’s such a beautiful time of year.” I rolled my eyes. I had no patience for the leaf lovers, the autumn enthusiasts, the fall foliage fanatics. I had bigger fish to fry. I was a…

Cruisin' in the Garbage Mobile

Cruisin' in the Garbage Mobile

We are a two-car family.  My husband drives the sexy, little midlife crisis car and I drive the monster kid tank.   I suppose it makes sense because he only uses his car to drives himself to and from the train station, whereas I use mine to drive the kids and a cast of thousands around all day.  Naturally, I also need…

Coming out of the Closet

Coming out of the Closet

Not too long ago, if you said you had a room the size of a closet, it meant the space was probably pretty darn small. These days, however, it’s not uncommon to have a closet the size of a living room, with more sliding drawers, revolving racks and custom shoe trees than Barney’s or Bloomies or Paris Hilton. So nowadays,…

How to Give a Dog a Bath

How to Give a Dog a Bath

When the dog starts to smell like Eau de Garbage, his breath is bad enough to peel paint off the walls, and people think he is a brown dog when really he is white, I know it’s time to give him a bath. Since I am the one who feeds, walks and cleans up after him, it has fallen to…

When Peanut Butter and Jelly Vandals Attack

When Peanut Butter and Jelly Vandals Attack

“Did someone throw a Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich at my car?” I asked.  My husband and kids just stared at me. “There is Peanut Butter and Jelly on the side of my car,” I explained. “What makes you think it’s Peanut Butter and Jelly?” asked my husband. “It’s purple and brown,” I said. “Did you taste it?” asked my…

2 Kids – 1 Kid = Less Work?

2 Kids – 1 Kid = Less Work?

Somehow I thought things would be easier once my son left for college. It was a simple mathematical equation: 2 kids – 1 kid = less work. Of course, when I say “less work,” I was thinking specifically about the amount of driving, cooking and laundry I would have to do. What I failed to take into account, however, was…

How to Paint a House in New Jersey While You Are in Iceland

How to Paint a House in New Jersey While You Are in Iceland

In the midst of my husband’s 50th birthday celebration, my daughter’s sweet 16, my son’s graduation from high school, and a trip to Iceland, we decided to have the entire inside of the house painted. While some people might find this to be strange timing, we actually thought it made a lot of sense. All the messy stuff would be…

What's Hiding in Your Junk Drawer?

What's Hiding in Your Junk Drawer?

I am the queen of organization. But the one place in the house that defies my vast organizational skills is the junk drawer. The junk drawer is that place in everyone’s home that becomes the final resting place for every pen, penny, tchotchke and doohickey that doesn’t belong anywhere else. The problem with the junk drawer, of course, is you…