My dear friend Ed and I bonded many years ago over dogs. I think our friendship was sealed the day he brought his new puppy, Sadie, over to meet me, and after they left, I realized Sadie had left me a gift on my family room rug.
I was there for Ed when his two older dogs, Sophie and Sierra, passed, and he shared my tears when we lost our dog, Riley, this past summer. I knew that Ed was thrilled when he heard we were bringing a new puppy home next week, but I didn’t realize his dog Sadie was also very excited… until our pup, Monty, received this letter from Sadie:
Congratulations on being adopted into the Beckerman family. You’re going to love it! Your new Mom is going to love you to death and take real good care of you.
Some might tell you that you have some huge paws to fill. Forget it. You can’t. Riley is Riley and you can never replace him. Don’t try. Just be you, love your new family, and obey the house rules the best you can. I learned early on that I could never replace Sophie or Sierra, so I just try to be the dog that I am.
A couple of hints to get along with Mom better: Don’t drink from the toilet. For some reason the humans don’t like it. Don’t poop in the house, even though they do. Walks are more fun if you don’t pull on the leash. Chewing of your people’s underwear is never accepted no matter how much the smell reminds you of them. And when new people come in the house, don’t run upstairs to the hamper and bring down the dirty clothes. New people in the house don’t seem to enjoy the scent as much as we do.
One of the better things about your humans is that they love when you sit close to them. Every now and then some of their food will drop on the floor. This food is fair game and if you can get to it, it’s yours.
I hope one day we can meet and roll in some deer poop or chase the ducks together.
I was so appreciative of this letter from Ed’s dog that I immediately forgave her for her previous transgressions (yes, I hold a grudge) and I wrote her back:
Thank you so much for your beautiful welcome letter to Monty. He is not home with us yet, but I read it to him over the phone and he was overjoyed. He is really looking forward to coming to New Jersey (what dog wouldn’t be?) and your letter made him feel like he definitely made the right decision in choosing us.
Admittedly, he was a little bummed about the no drinking out of the toilet thing and the no chewing underwear thing, but he understands that there will be some rules he has to follow. He is willing to overlook those in lieu of being able to roll in dead things outside and sneak food out of the garbage.
Additionally, he was hoping to seek your council on the subject of chasing squirrels. He doesn’t have a lot of experience in this area yet and wants to make sure he does it right. Does one merely bark his head off and chase a squirrel up a tree or does one actually endeavor to catch the squirrel and bite its tail off? Please advise.
As you know, Monty has one more week of growing to do before he officially becomes a Beckerman. He would love it though if the two of you could skype or something once he gets here so you can meet snout to snout. Are you on Facebook or Twitter? I’ll let Monty know you don’t have to be a bird to tweet.
Please give a giant squeeze to your person, Ed, and tell him how much we appreciate him helping you type the letter and such. You are a lucky dog… Ed is pretty awesome for a human, you know?
PS… When you talk to Monty, please let him know that big glass door off the kitchen leads outside. That is where the dog bathroom is. It is not that dark spot on the family room rug.