Before I left, I wrote out a couple of pages of instructions and when I handed them to my husband he laughed.
“I think we can figure this all out on our own, Honey,” he assured me, tossing the pages to the side.
I sort of remember George W. Bush saying the same thing when Clinton left him the instructions on how to keep the budget balanced, but whatever.
Pretty confident that they would survive in my absence, I left for my trip.
An hour after I left, the text messages started coming.
Husband: When does the garbage go out?
Me: When it is full.
Him: All the toilet paper rolls are empty.
Me: That means it is time to put on a new roll.
Him: What time does the dog go to sleep?
Me: He is a dog. He goes to sleep whenever he feels like it.
Him: Do you know where my dry cleaning is?
Me: At the dry cleaners.
Him: Do you know where the kids are?
Me: I’m in Tennessesse. You’re home. I’d hope that you would know.
Him: The house is kind of a mess. When does the cleaning lady come?
Me: When she gets back from her Blog Conference on Sunday.
Him: How is the conference going?
Me: I wouldn’t know. I’m too busy answering your texts.