How to Make Enemies and Annoy Celebrities in a Parking Garage

“Look Mom, it’s Paul Simon’s car!”

I turned in the NYC parking garage and gazed in the direction that my son was pointing.

There was a black SUV parked directly behind me, and on the windshield, under the windshield wiper, was a torn piece of paper that said “Paul Simon.”

I snorted. “It’s not Paul Simon’s car,” I said.

“How do you know?” asked my son.

“I think if it was really Paul Simon’s car, there would be a more official sign on it than a scrap of paper. Or probably no sign. Either way, it is a joke,” I said knowingly.

Granted, the car did have a primo spot in the lot. And it was a really nice SUV. But I didn’t think that celebs were generally in the habit of marking their cars with handwritten notes pointing out who the car belongs to, AND I doubted that the lot employees new or cared who Paul Simon was. Art Garfunkel, maybe. But not Paul Simon.

Still, I thought it was kind of funny. So I pulled out my pocket camera that I keep in my bag for just this kind of situation, and I leaned in and took a picture of the sign.

Then I laughed, turned around, and almost stepped on Paul Simon’s wife.

She looked somewhat amused.

I was mortified.

“Oh. Oh jeez. This is embarrassing,” I stammered. “Here you are coming to pick up your car and you find some idiot taking a picture of your windshield.”

She smiled indulgently.

“I’m really sorry,” I said. “Um. Nice car!”

She continued smiling. I had no idea what else to say.

Fortunately, at that moment, our car arrived. I started to get into the passenger seat and then stopped and turned to her.

It suddenly occurred to me that I wasn’t 100% sure the woman standing there was, in fact, Paul Simon’s wife. Maybe I had just made an idiot out of myself in front of someone who actually couldn’t care less that I was taking a picture of Paul Simon’s car.

I had to ask.

“You are Edie Brickell, right?” I asked her.

“Yes,” she said.

“Oh, good,” I responded. “I wasn’t sure. Maybe you should have a sign on you, too.”

©2011, Beckerman. All rights reserved.
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16 Comments

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16 responses to “How to Make Enemies and Annoy Celebrities in a Parking Garage

  1. duh, who would mark their car with note like that?!?! oh. nevermind. love it!

  2. What a great story! Good thing you knew who his wife was! ‘Cause that would’ve been embarassing if you would’ve said, “You ARE, um, Mrs. Paul Simon, right?” (Incidentally, I also keep my camera ready as a writer, and I was in a large store in the big earthquake we had here in No. VA…and I managed to get a pic of…wait for it…SOME SCARY DEODERANT THAT FELL ON THE FLOOR!)

  3. OK. Here’s the blog post I did on it. I call it, “The unveiling of the great earthquake photo–Walmart Aisle Destruction.” Be sure to shield the eyes of any small children.

    http://kristinemeldrumdenholm.blogspot.com/2011/08/life-in-dcnorthern-virginia-my-really.html

    And keep up the great work, Lost in Suburbia blog! :)

    • Great post! Wow! You really were in the middle of it.
      Love this line:
      “No doubt the empty cart there was from someone who clearly bolted at the sight of Old Spices flying.”
      Thanks for sharing that! Can’t wait to read more from you. I’m a fan!

  4. That is a great story. I didn’t know they were still married. Wasn’t he married to Carrie Fischer? Maybe not… See? I would have said, “are you Carrie Fischer?”

  5. I adore Edie Brickell – and now I’m so jealous that you bumped into her. Do they use little signs to ID VIPs like that? Funny.

    Great story!

  6. Joanna

    I am wondering why you think they will recognize Art Garfunkel and not Paul Simon? I believe Paul Simon is more famous, he is the one who has a successful solo career. He won a lot of Grammys and is honored many times for his fabulous songwriting.

  7. Christina S.

    Love it! I had no clue he was married to Edie Brickell. That’s Eddie of “Edie Brickell and the New Bohemians”, right? I wondered what ever happened to her.

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