The Mother of All Momagers

the momagerUnless you live under a rock, or actually have a life, you might have missed the news the Kris Jenner is in the process of trying to get a trademark for the word “momager.”

I guess since she is a mom AND she is the manager of all her kids, it kind of makes sense that she would want ownership of the combination of the two. I am also a mom and I also do other things besides being a mom, so I wondered if I should jump on the trademark bandwagon, as well. Since I am the primary housekeeper in my home, I pondered the idea of trademarking the name “Momkeeper.” But that makes me sound like I keep a collection of moms in my house which would probably either get me arrested or make me the most popular drop off playdate location in the neighborhood. I also am the one who cleans up after the dog, so I thought “Momipoo” would be good for me, too. But then I thought it sounded too much like one of those designer hypoallergenic dogs like a cockipoo, which is a combination of a cocker spaniel and a poodle, but, to me, sounds more like a combination of a particular male part of a body and a poodle. So, if I’m going to be the momipoo, my husband would have to be the “cockipoo,” and I just don’t think he’d go for that.

I get that Kris wants to make a statement by combining her two primary jobs.  but doesn’t calling herself a Momager take away from all the other important jobs she does?

Why not trademark “Momeality”” for being a Mom AND being famous for being a reality TV star?  Oh wait, I think Honey Boo Boo’s mother registered that name already.

However, I think she should trademark “Momous,” for being a mom and being famous just for being famous.

If I were to combine my two jobs – mom and columnist – I would be a “molumnist.” But that is such a strange job title that I’m pretty sure no one would ever hire me again because they would have no idea what I actually do. The other problem is they might put a hard accent on the “O” and think that I am a specialist in mole removal (I’m thinking the rodent ones, not the facial ones). Since I have less desire to remove moles than I do to pick up dog poo, I’m going to have to reject all these combinations and simply go with mom writer. which is not trademarkable but is infinitely more accurate.

But enough about me. I can certainly understand Kris’ need to have a title of power that reflects the hugely impressive job she does in both raising her daughters and managing their careers. How many woman can say they have built an empire on the public’s fascination with a family that does, well, nothing (hats off to Kendall for actually having a career, of course). In fact, I think she has undervalued herself with the name “Momager” and she needs to shoot higher. If I were Kris, I would definitely try to trademark something more impressive. “Momasuarus Rex” certainly implies power, as does “The Mominator.” Since she is now the head of the family, she could go with “Head Momcho. Or she can proclaim herself the mother of all mothers and go with “Mom Almighty.” If she were a Lord of the Rings fan, she might like to go with “One Mom To Rule them All.” Or if she was more of a Star Wars girl, “The Galactic Mompire,”might be more fitting, Since the Queen Mother is already taken, she might like to look for other world leaders for inspiration. I’m pretty sure the “Dalai Mama” would still be up for grabs. However, if I were her, I’d stay away from the “Mope.”

Sounds too much like Nope, which is what most people think about this whole Momager thing..

©2015, Beckerman. All rights reserved.

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Why Tap Out When you can TapInto? Lost in Suburbia joins the TapInto.net family

In case you haven’t heard, just wanted to share the latest news…
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Nationally Syndicated Humor Columnist and Author Tracy Beckerman Joins TAPinto.net, Premiere Online Local Newspaper Chain in New Jersey

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June 1, 2015 (New Providence, NJ) –  TAPinto.net is pleased to announce that nationally syndicated humor columnist and author Tracy Beckerman has joined TAPinto.net.

Tracy Beckerman writes the syndicated humor column, LOST IN SUBURBIA® which is carried by over 400 newspapers and more than 250 websites and reaches an audience of nearly 10 million readers in 25 states.   She is also the author of two books, “Lost in Suburbia: A Momoir. How I Got Pregnant, Lost Myself, and Got My Cool Back in the New Jersey Suburbs” and “Rebel without a Minivan: Observations on Life in the ‘Burbs.”  In addition to her column, Beckerman writes for Huffington Post Comedy and is a contributing columnist for Blogher.com.

Tracy has made frequent TV appearances including The Today ShowLive From the Couch,The CBS Early ShowThe Balancing Act on LifetimeGood Day New YorkLX New York, and CBS Sunday Morning with Charles Osgood, to name a few, as well as numerous radio and print interviews speaking about motherhood and life in the ‘burbs.  She also does stand-up comedy and has appeared at venues including The Comic Strip Live in NYC and The Erma Bombeck Workshop in Dayton.

In 2010 she was voted “America’s Top Blogger” by The Balancing Act on Lifetime Television, and in 2011, she won a National Society of Newspaper Columnists award for humor writing.  In 2014, Tracy was the Global Humor Award Winner of the coveted Erma Bombeck Writing Competition.  Additionally, she is a past recipient of a Writer’s Guild of America Award and won a New York EMMY® for writing.  Tracy is a three time past faculty member of the Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop and is the Vice-president of The National Society of Newspaper Columnists. She is also VP of the Education Foundation of the NSNC and a member of the American Society of Journalists and Authors.

Regarding her new alliance with TAPinto.net, Beckerman said, “I’m truly thrilled to join TAPinto, the premiere online local newspaper in New Jersey.  As a longtime New Providence resident, which also happens to be the birthplace of TAP, Im especially excited to call TAP my new home.  I’m looking forward to finding all the funny, ironic, and uniquely absurd parts of being Lost in Suburbia and sharing them with the TAP readers each week!”

Michael Shapiro, CEO and Publisher of TAPinto.net, said, “We are honored to have Tracy Beckerman join the TAPinto family.  Since TAPinto.net is a network of online local newspaper franchises which are primarily owned and operated by women, many of whom are stay-at-home moms, Beckerman’s writing about being a stay-at-home mom and reinventing oneself particularly resonates with us.  Tracy has a genuine gift for writing and we are excited that she will now be sharing that gift with our 3.6 million readers.”

TAPinto.net, formerly TheAlternativePress.com, was founded by New Providence, New Jersey residents Michael and Lauryn Shapiro, is accredited by the New Jersey Press Association and currently has over 3,600,000 readers.  The all-online hyperlocal news site boasts more than fifty columnists, a full-service Community Calendar, Business Directory, and local Real Estate Listings. The public can friend TAPinto.net on Facebook at Facebook.com/tapintolocal and can follow TAPinto.net on Twitter at Twitter.com/tapintolocal 

In addition, TAPinto.net is currently offering franchise opportunities in NJ, NY, PA and CT. Anyone interested in starting an online newspaper in their town is invited to  Click here for more information.

TAPinto.net currently covers hyperlocal daily news and information in: Basking Ridge, Berkeley Heights, Bridgewater/Raritan, Cedar Grove, Chatham, Clark, Cranbury, Cranford, Denville, East Brunswick, East Orange, Edison, Elizabeth, Green Brook, Livingston, Madison, Maplewood, Millburn/Short Hills, Milltown/Spotswood, Montville, Montclair, Morristown, New Providence, Newton, North Plainfield, Paterson, Plainfield, Randolph, Roselle/Roselle Park, Roxbury, Scotch Plains/Fanwood, South Brunswick, South Orange, South Plainfield, Sparta, Summit, Verona, Warren, Watchung, West Essex, Westfield, and West Orange.

For more information, contact:

Michael M. Shapiro, Esq.
CEO and Publisher, TAPinto.net
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